He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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