Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
