Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
