I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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