The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize