yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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