I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
