i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
