Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Green mimosas i think yes
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
