question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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