How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
