I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
