We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
