You're my little dorito
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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