Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize