Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
