____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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