She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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