how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
