Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
