And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize