I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
