for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
