Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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