i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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