all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
