He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize