SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
