I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
