Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
