Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The uberlube is also flammable
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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