...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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