Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
