Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
