You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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