this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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