sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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