haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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