will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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