my vag is so smooth its legendary
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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