At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
