It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
