Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
