Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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