There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
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When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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