the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
