Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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