You can't motorboat a personality
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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