Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
