I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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