Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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