Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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