I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
