I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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