girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
why do cheetos always look like penises
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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