whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Randomize
