It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
