Swine flu. Run for my life!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh god it's open bar.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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