Did you just see the Batmobile???
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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